please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
COCAINE IS GR8
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