i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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