What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize