tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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