I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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