drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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