I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
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