Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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