I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
