yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
