i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
