So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
Randomize
