thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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