Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
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