Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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