soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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