You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Randomize
