This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
