I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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