We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
