she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Randomize
