I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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