The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
