Welp...herpes.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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