things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
