he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
