just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
