I want to make a zoo with you.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Randomize
