its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize
