So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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