i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
We need to rekindle our bromance
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Randomize
