you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Randomize
