Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
