Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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