Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
