The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
