Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
