If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
the liver wants what the liver wants
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
