Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Randomize
