Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
