You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
