How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
