Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I just cut my nipple shaving
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize