I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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