So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
