i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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