I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
this must be what syphilis tastes like
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
