i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
two words...techno handjob
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
