I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
