can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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