There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
