barbara walters just said penis...
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
