Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Randomize
