i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
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