she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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