Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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