it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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