We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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