just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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