Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He keeps bees of course he's weird
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
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