I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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