that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
