dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
