Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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