loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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