Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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