even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Randomize
