I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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