i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize