You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize