The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
Randomize
