Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Randomize