i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
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