I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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