I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
