Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
All the doctor said was why
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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