please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
40s are totally the cure
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
