It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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