You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
