So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
