I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
